what do you say to well-intentioned strangers about safety

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hal888
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what do you say to well-intentioned strangers about safety

Post by hal888 »

Hi Everybody,

A clear pattern has emerged. It seems that every time an acquaintance learns that I drive a two-wheeled vehicle, they feel compelled to tell me about the crash they had 20 years earlier, or that their family member crashed, or that there was a crash reported yesterday in the paper, or some other horror story. I'm just trying to enjoy my Starbucks and have a pleasant chat, but it seems to always turn to the crash stories and the implied message that I shouldn't be doing this.

I am as compulsive about safety as anyone I know. I wear a FF helmet, armored coat and pants, riding boots, and gloves; I read the books, took the MSF class, practice techniques, obey laws, and try to drive extremely defensively. I've never had a real crash or accident (knock-wood).

Nevertheless, people feel free to comment and judge. I usually offer some simple confirmations about the need to be careful when riding, but it has happened so many times that I admit I sometimes get irritated, particularly with people that don't ride and don't know what they are talking about.

Thus, I thought I'd ask what others here say to people. I haven't seemed to have found the words that diffuses the situation and enables a transition to a new topic. Do you ignore it, sit them down and have a long rationale discussion on the complexity of the issue, or do you have a favorite phrase or strategy :) !?!

Thanks!
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k1dude
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Post by k1dude »

I had a boss that refused to fly because he had an aunt that died in a plane crash. So he ONLY took the train on long trips. Yet he still drove a car and commuted by bike, both of which are far more dangerous.

Perhaps all the people telling you this should start taking the train. Because they're so safe.......oh wait.

To each his own.
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charlie55
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Post by charlie55 »

I always tell people that if I thought riding was that dangerous, I'd buy a bike for my mother-in-law.
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skully93
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Post by skully93 »

I've been told many times it's too dangerous and if I care about my wife and friends (my wife is also a rider) that I should just stop.

I respond that I take the best precautions I can, and it's served me well so far.
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Post by sunshinen »

I tell them that I appreciate that there are risks, and I keep that in mind every time I ride... just as they should every time they get behind the wheel of a car. But I've done my homework, wear protective gear, ride defensively, and take safer roads than I do in my car. For me, the slower roads, the smells, the sounds, the fun factor, make it worth it to me.

If I'm feeling snarky, I say that in any given year, the average American is more likely to die of a heart attack than the average licensed motorcyclist is to die of a crash... so your bacon habit is more likely to kill you than my riding habit.
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Post by Elder Scoot »

I just tell them that everyone has to make their own choices and do the best they can with the choices they make.
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motorcycles, scooters & bicycles safety

Post by ahorsewithnoname »

They never ask me. I'll be 88 this October; been riding them all after leaving the service in 1945 WWII. Th'd be about 70 years in the saddle. Most of my riding has been back and forth to work usually 35 mi each way. Retired in 1999 @ 72. Safety is in the hand that holds the throttle and of course in the invisible one that's not of this world (if you will). I have two "Buddys" and a little luck.
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KrispyKreme
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Post by KrispyKreme »

charlie55 wrote:I always tell people that if I thought riding was that dangerous, I'd buy a bike for my mother-in-law.

:lol:
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Post by MYSCTR »

…ya but that didn't happen on a Buddy! Everyone knows scooters are soo much safer than motorcycles! 8)
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Re: motorcycles, scooters & bicycles safety

Post by thumper650 »

ahorsewithnoname wrote:They never ask me. I'll be 88 this October; been riding them all after leaving the service in 1945 WWII. Th'd be about 70 years in the saddle. Most of my riding has been back and forth to work usually 35 mi each way. Retired in 1999 @ 72. Safety is in the hand that holds the throttle and of course in the invisible one that's not of this world (if you will). I have two "Buddys" and a little luck.
Greatgrandpop
Despite being an atheist, I think that was very well said. Thanks for your service, and your wise words!

Concerning people who tell me riding a scooter/motorcycle is dangerous, usually by telling me someone whey know who was in an accident, I usually tell them how people die in cars, planes, walking down the street etc. This actually came up yesterday with my mother-in-law, and I used my standard response. A friend of mine, (who doesn’t ride) added falling down in the shower to my list. It's a dangerous world out there!
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Post by GregsBuddy »

Yay, another free thinker!
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Post by viney266 »

I usually tell them I have been riding for 41 years, or inform them of the years of racing, or maybe the MSF instructor years.
If THAT doesn't stop the "uncle Buck" story. I learned this one from my wife, " How fast was he going and what bar did he just leave?"

That usually does the trick.
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Re: motorcycles, scooters & bicycles safety

Post by viney266 »

thumper650 wrote:
ahorsewithnoname wrote:They never ask me. I'll be 88 this October; been riding them all after leaving the service in 1945 WWII. Th'd be about 70 years in the saddle. Most of my riding has been back and forth to work usually 35 mi each way. Retired in 1999 @ 72. Safety is in the hand that holds the throttle and of course in the invisible one that's not of this world (if you will). I have two "Buddys" and a little luck.
Greatgrandpop
Despite being an atheist, I think that was very well said. Thanks for your service, and your wise words!
BOTH of these posts are fantastic. Nice to see an atheist and not an anti Christian :)

and ahorsewithnoname may be my new hero. I HOPE to make it that far, and thank you for your service sir.
Speed is only a matter of money...How fast do you want to go?
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sherides
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Post by sherides »

My favorite story along these lines happened shortly after I got my Buddy, several years ago. I was riding to a job in my helmet, gloves, jacket, boots, when a guy on a rickety bicycle in shorts, flip flops, no helmet, riding the wrong way on a one way street across an intersection felt compelled to yell at me how dangerous scooters were. Personally, I just say I know more people who have gotten badly injured during a home improvement project than riding.
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tiii
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Post by tiii »

charlie55 wrote:I always tell people that if I thought riding was that dangerous, I'd buy a bike for my mother-in-law.
HAHAHA

Seriously, though... I'm sure they mean well. I just tell 'em, "somethings gonna kill me."

Then again, I'm the dumby that runs into the burning buildings.
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Neurotic-Hapi-Snak
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Post by Neurotic-Hapi-Snak »

Valar morghulis
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Post by thatvwbusguy »

Just drop a little bit of Point Break logic on them:

"If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4SzWenBcGc
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.


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Post by still shifting »

Quote to them; "fear is the mind killer" from Frank Herbert, Dune
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Post by GregsBuddy »

Atheists don't hate Christians but the opposite is common.
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Post by BeefSupreme »

"You're going to die riding that thing" says the person who most likely texts while driving.

My GF and I were accosted by a girl working at a gas station who said something along the lines of she had a friend who wrecked his Harley recently and was torn up, and that we should be careful as we were next or something.... as we were leaving she stepped outside to smoke. OH THE IRONY was strong that day.
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Post by thatvwbusguy »

Sounds like my vegan friend Ian lecturing me about how awful eating meat is for your health while he is opening his second pack of cigarettes for the day.:roll:

Also, the reason that atheists don't hate Christians is because they don't believe in them :wink:
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.


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Post by GregsBuddy »

"Also, the reason that atheists don't hate Christians is because they don't believe in them Wink"?
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Post by BigDaddy SnakeOiler »

Quick answer:
STFUAMYOB
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Post by BigDaddy SnakeOiler »

thatvwbusguy wrote:Just drop a little bit of Point Break logic on them:
Or how about School of Rock
"You want to be hardcore, you have to live hardcore"
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Post by wheelbender6 »

I'd tell them that riding a scoot is pretty safe compared to a lot of things I did in the USMC. Everything is relative.
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Post by still shifting »

wheelbender6 wrote:I'd tell them that riding a scoot is pretty safe compared to a lot of things I did in the USMC. Everything is relative.
Good Response very nice! R
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Post by Neurotic-Hapi-Snak »

GregsBuddy wrote:Atheists don't hate Christians but the opposite is common.
Really? Some Christians hate atheists, the majority don't. Some atheists hate Christians, the majority don't. Trying to say all atheists don't hate Christians is false, there are plenty of vehemently anti-theist atheists out there who attack religion and believers, primarily Christianity and Christians, and attempt to force their beliefs on others, just as there are vehemently hateful Christians who attack the beliefs of others. But neither is the majority of each group and do not represent either group as a whole.

And FYI, I'm agnostic and I try to view all beliefs positively and equally, even if I don't hold them myself.
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Post by KrispyKreme »

Neurotic-Hapi-Snak wrote:
GregsBuddy wrote:Atheists don't hate Christians but the opposite is common.
Really? Some Christians hate atheists, the majority don't. Some atheists hate Christians, the majority don't. Trying to say all atheists don't hate Christians is false, there are plenty of vehemently anti-theist atheists out there who attack religion and believers, primarily Christianity and Christians, and attempt to force their beliefs on others, just as there are vehemently hateful Christians who attack the beliefs of others. But neither is the majority of each group and do not represent either group as a whole.

And FYI, I'm agnostic and I try to view all beliefs positively and equally, even if I don't hold them myself.

Nice. Not quite the place for that kind of thought. You also sound young and idealistic. Good for you. Keep it for as long as you can.
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Post by GregsBuddy »

The free-thinkers I know don't hate anyone. They believe there are many good reasons to be religious but don't believe any of them themselves, including myself.
However, nearly all religions hold free-thinkers as missing morals because they don't trust that humans can be moral and free-thinking. Not true in the least...
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Post by KrispyKreme »

GregsBuddy wrote:The free-thinkers I know don't hate anyone. They believe there are many good reasons to be religious but don't believe any of them themselves, including myself.
However, nearly all religions hold free-thinkers as missing morals because they don't trust that humans can be moral and free-thinking. Not true in the least...

You are clearly searching for something. Good luck.
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Post by Syd »

I'm agnostic and I hate everyone, so there.

But to get back on topic, I promised my wife I would wear a helmet when I upgraded from my 50cc. Other than that she was fine with it, and she is the only person's opinion that matters. On the occasion someone tries to lecture me on the dangers of riding I tell them I have earplugs in and can't hear, sorry.
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Post by Tam Tam »

Syd wrote:I'm agnostic and I hate everyone, so there.

But to get back on topic, I promised my wife I would wear a helmet when I upgraded from my 50cc. Other than that she was fine with it, and she is the only person's opinion that matters.
I heard that. I promised my wife I would always wear helmets & armor when I ride.
And when people say, "oh you're gonna hurt yourself on that machine" I just show them the scar on my right arm and say "too late", but with a smile.
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Post by libwitch »

The last person who told me that rider my scooter was dangerous (a fellow employee driving around campus in our "green" electric golf carts - which they take on the roads) I smiled at, thanked, and told him that it was all I could afford right now since I just paid my circus insurance for my fire performance troupe.

That seemed to work.
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Post by KrispyKreme »

libwitch wrote:The last person who told me that rider my scooter was dangerous (a fellow employee driving around campus in our "green" electric golf carts - which they take on the roads) I smiled at, thanked, and told him that it was all I could afford right now since I just paid my circus insurance for my fire performance troupe.

That seemed to work.

Did you give him a happy ending?
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Post by Whimscootie »

I don't get into arguments or great debates with these people. Not worth my time or effort.

I just smile and say, "Well, something's gonna kill me. At least I'll be doing something I love!" and let it go at that.

:D
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Post by Whimscootie »

I don't get into arguments or great debates with these people. Not worth my time or effort.

I just smile and say, "Well, something's gonna kill me. At least I'll be doing something I love!" and let it go at that.

:D
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Post by tspinning »

Nothing worse then asking the ethical vegetarian what they think about the BBQ or eating lunch with carnivores.

Gonna make a sweeping generalization here, but I find it relevant.

People typically want to re-enforce the choices they have made in life, and get off by teaching or preaching to others about their "deficiencies." Usually these folks will converse about people they know & knew, or stars they wish they know or knew, they can't make it to second level conversation topics like events (although they might be able to do places), and they really can't hold their own on when discussing what I call third level conversations: thoughts or ideas because they can't come up with any original ones. Low hanging fruit and all.

Anyway the "I wanted to ride, till I knew a guy that died" crowd rarely sees the flaw in their logic when given my "I wanted to get old, till I found out old people die" rebuttal.
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Post by still shifting »

I ask if they feel safe in their car...? R
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Post by GregsBuddy »

We ride AROUND accidents because we can.
SUV's, PU's and other lunkers plow into stuff because they can't avoid it.
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